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October 1st, 2011
You would think that by the time I began my senior year of college I'd have my life figured out, or at least enough that I was pretty sure what would happen next and be able to just work for that. Well, I thought I had. And instead of just working through the year, trying to find a job I thought I'd like, I'm re-thinking everything, not exactly the best time to do that.
Granted part of what has me rethinking is the fact that I've been invited to apply for a masters degree program. That was something I never had considered previously both because I didn't think I'd want it and I didn't think I could afford it. Well affording it is still an issue but I'm actually starting to like the idea the more I look into it. So I'm collecting letters and scholarship applications like crazy. Its worth a try right? If it doesn't pan out I'll just go back to my original plan. I'm still pretty happy with that.
On a completely different note I pulled out my guitar last night. Running into someone I knew from back then really got me thinking. I've missed music. So much that it's been painful but it hurt just as much to think about it and re-hash what it was that I lost. But I need to move on. I know this, but its a lot easier to say it, to think it than to actually do it. There is more involved than just the rational parts of my brain. But I suppose the best way to start is to just go back to the music, back to playing and writing which was what got me into it in the first place. I know its going to hurt, and its going to suck for a while but I have to try. Its in my blood and its hurting just as much to push it away.
Ugh too much thinking. Sometimes life is a hell of a lot of work! I just want to go back to tending bar and only having to worry about how many drinks that guy had and if this guy was going to start a fight. Much less stress that's for sure and a hell of a lot less responsibility. Yeah, I'll just go back to that for a bit, worry about the rest of this crap later. It's not going to go anywhere. I'll worry about it tomorrow.
Granted part of what has me rethinking is the fact that I've been invited to apply for a masters degree program. That was something I never had considered previously both because I didn't think I'd want it and I didn't think I could afford it. Well affording it is still an issue but I'm actually starting to like the idea the more I look into it. So I'm collecting letters and scholarship applications like crazy. Its worth a try right? If it doesn't pan out I'll just go back to my original plan. I'm still pretty happy with that.
On a completely different note I pulled out my guitar last night. Running into someone I knew from back then really got me thinking. I've missed music. So much that it's been painful but it hurt just as much to think about it and re-hash what it was that I lost. But I need to move on. I know this, but its a lot easier to say it, to think it than to actually do it. There is more involved than just the rational parts of my brain. But I suppose the best way to start is to just go back to the music, back to playing and writing which was what got me into it in the first place. I know its going to hurt, and its going to suck for a while but I have to try. Its in my blood and its hurting just as much to push it away.
Ugh too much thinking. Sometimes life is a hell of a lot of work! I just want to go back to tending bar and only having to worry about how many drinks that guy had and if this guy was going to start a fight. Much less stress that's for sure and a hell of a lot less responsibility. Yeah, I'll just go back to that for a bit, worry about the rest of this crap later. It's not going to go anywhere. I'll worry about it tomorrow.